I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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