the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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