shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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