ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
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I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
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Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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