god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE IS GR8
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize