He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
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I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
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Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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