who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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