i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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