my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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