Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize