the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
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we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
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I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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