now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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