Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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