We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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