So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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