Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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