the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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