she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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