I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
