Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
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You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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