I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize