Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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