R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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