Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize