I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
