you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
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I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
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I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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