What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my shit smells like andre
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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