You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize