it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize