All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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