I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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