Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
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I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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