I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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