There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
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high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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