If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
that's an acceptable place to lick
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
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So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
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The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Im part way to drunk.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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