You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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