i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize