Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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