Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize