Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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