So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude i'm inner monologue high
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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