Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.

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(267): Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome. http://tfl.nu/u178

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(757): View more from Virginia

She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!

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(757): She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!! http://tfl.nu/gype

Replies (5) Good night (2077) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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(603): Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame?? http://tfl.nu/gyhi

Replies (15) Good night (4531) Bad night (439)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.

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(732): I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents. http://tfl.nu/w4fz

Replies (15) Good night (4873) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

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(267): I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" http://tfl.nu/lcyo

Replies (27) Good night (965) Bad night (4959) Order T-Shirt
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.

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(412): No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger. http://tfl.nu/77i8

Replies (35) Good night (968) Bad night (14719) Order T-Shirt
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(319): View more from Iowa

I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

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(319): I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/jqgl

Replies (36) Good night (6801) Bad night (2358) Order T-Shirt
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(602): View more from Arizona

I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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(602): I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again. http://tfl.nu/a40p

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.

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(615): You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea. http://tfl.nu/dzpq

Replies (4) Good night (1072) Bad night (3963) Order T-Shirt
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(510): View more from California

Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.

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(510): Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today. http://tfl.nu/bpyv

Replies (5) Good night (882) Bad night (1856) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?

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(570): why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge? http://tfl.nu/lm3z

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(408): View more from California

I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.

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(408): I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation. http://tfl.nu/jzil

Replies (6) Good night (1304) Bad night (679)
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(310): View more from California

I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.

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(310): I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies. http://tfl.nu/ehsm

Replies (3) Good night (1093) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.

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(603): The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon. http://tfl.nu/hw0j

Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion

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(801): It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion http://tfl.nu/cwcp

Replies (5) Good night (169) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt

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