Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize