Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Duck Duck Cougar?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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