there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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