I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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