i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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