the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
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I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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