sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
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If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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