I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
As shirtless as possible
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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