The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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